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Saturday, November 2, 2013

Krrish 3

Well, I'm not sure if it was the overdose of Caramel in my popcorn or if it was this all-in-one, Super-hero concoction, but I felt a little drained after spending 2+ hours at the theatre. My time would have been better spent with an over-heated macbook on my lap and playing reruns of random TV shows (like Veronica Mars). However, I ended up chaperoning 5 kids and one adult to the first-day-first-show of Krrish 3. Now, I'm glad I fast-tracked to part-3 of the franchise and missed it's prequels, Krrish 1 & 2. In case you're wondering, you can too and you'll still get it... that there's nothing to get! There was some hint of a Krrish 4 but I'll keep my finger crossed to the contrary.

Mutant experiments gone bad! That was my first thought as Kaal (Vivek Oberoi) introduced his creations at the beginning of the movie. Kaya (Kangana Ranaut) looked hot in tight suits, yet all of them looked a bit unsure about the supposedly deadly, hot-looking mutants they were portraying. However, Vivek Oberoi convincingly looked and played the part of an evil, eccentric, billionaire with metal-bending powers. Hmmm... Have we seen that before? Why did this billionaire make himself a make-shift metal suit instead of a designer, custom-made outfit? Couldn't he have afforded a better outfit than Krrish who was wrapped in what looked like Black garbage bag? Neither did Kaal bother to cover his man-parts under the armor as my male friend observed and pointed out to me several times. It's really not the way to score with women, man!

All the junk food I stuff myself with could not help me forget that I wasn't supposed to be here and that I would have never given a single thought to buying myself tickets to a movie where Everything is crammed. Like, take it all! Full paisa wasool! Full paisa wasool, my ass!

There's this scene where Krrish rescues a small boy from falling from the top of a building. Instead of bringing the boy down immediately, he perches him up on a window shade (high up and not far down from where he was first dangling) and talks about how "Krrish" exists in all of them. If I were the kid's mom, I'd have knocked Krrish on the head for not bringing my boy straight to me after such a terrible ordeal.

I also wondered this. Why do deadly, female characters in tight spandex stand like this? Unrelaxed and on the edge? Well, it wouldn't be cool to stand like this! 

The whole movie is forgettable. Hrithik Roshan, Priyanka Chopra (who is just phasing between hot-in-tiny-clingy-dress to pregnant-mom-in-fully-covered-chicken-work-kurta or maybe that's what's called "versatile"), Kangana Ranaut (who's evil character "unexpectedly" falls in love with Krishna and who discovers that being good is better appreciated than being bad), all of them, forgettable! Alright, I'm done. I'm not giving any more thought to this movie after this blog.

So, are you gonna see it? Did I make myself clear?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Man of Steel

After a long while, here's a movie review for a movie that inspired me to blog.

I did not know that a man named 'Henry Cavill' existed. And he's the new Super-man. OMG! He's hot! Shame on me. I call myself a 'movie buff' with a capital F and I did not know him on screen.


Man of Steel! When you walk into a super-hero movie, you wonder what's going to be different, this time. You walk out learning that not much is. A super-hero movie is about a man who is handsome, strong(est), different (or weird), noble and all-things-good personified. But, like every ordinary man, he needs love. So, there's a wide-eyed woman whom he must rescue while saving the rest of the world. Ok, that's not ordinary. Doesn't happen in my world. Also, all super-heroes are americans and almost always end up destructing in New York where there are, understandably, several skyscrapers to crash. Good always persists over evil. Civilians are always stupid. Because, they gape while a 100 story-building is coming down on them or when a gigantic space-ship is (obviously) about to open its claws and release very powerful laser into the ground where they stand. What else? Aliens are the weirdest. The suits just get more ridiculous. The technology in their world is way too advanced to be real. The spaceships look like crustaceans.

Scenes I liked...

  • There's a scene where, after Super-man hits the sky, a lieutenant is smiling as her commander returns after talking to Super-man. Her commander asks her, 'What are you smiling at?'. She says, 'I was just thinking that Super-man's hot'. I wanted to shout, 'Yeah! Damn right he is'. I didn't have the guts, though. :(
  • All the fight sequences which are intense because the super-characters are flying at supersonic speeds, smashing and blasting buildings.
  • Diane Lane's character tells her son, Super-man, 'Nice suit, son'. It must hurt a mom's eyes to see a son in (tight) spandex.
  • All the scenes where Henry Cavill is in closeup, tall and muscular. Did I tell you, he's hot?

Scenes I don't like...

  • All the scenes where Super-man and Lois Lane are looking deep into each other eyes.
  • The scene with pods where babies are artificially bred. It reminded me of 'The Matrix'. Not original.
  • The scene where Russell Crow flies his personal, pre-historic dragon-thingy. It reminded me of the 'Avatar' movie. Again, not original.
  • The scenes where Krypton's bureaucrats, sitting on their ass and wearing ridiculous head-gear, discuss the fate of their planet. This reminded me of 'Star Wars'.
  • The scene where Russel Crow's character explains to Super-man, who he is and where he comes from. As if Super-man can't understand English, there's a weird, metallic, simulation of Super-man's legacy playing around them both. As if, we (audience) can't understand English too. 

Despite my abundant sarcasm, I do like super-hero movies. I love Hollywood movies. I love knowing what I'm in for. None other than Hollywood makes me feel as good when I walk out, smiling about all the things I liked and disliked in the movie.

I always come out (from a theater) asking myself these profound questions.

  • Why is it necessary to have a love-angle in an action movie? Can a super-hero not survive without a woman by his arms? So, who's the super-hero? He or she?
  • Mockery aside, what is it that makes me feel stronger as I walk out? Why do I feel like blowing my chest out and thrusting my fist into something (bad)? What is the movie feeding my brain to release my endorphins.
  • Why do they show Chinese and Indians in a scene where aliens send a message to the world? Yeah, I know the answer to that one. 
  • Why did I eat so much junk and drink so much Pepsi?
:)